Saturday, September 13, 2008
So...I wrote the apology note. I thought that I could do it. However, when I got on facebook I was deleted from being his friend. This is so stupid. I was also deleted from being one of our mutual friends friends. How could things have gone so drastically wrong. Now there are no reminders. Maybe it never really happened? Maybe I made it all up. It's just that with every little kick and jab...I feel myself starting to melt away. Seriously I prayed today and asked my Heavenly Father if I could just leave this world. I kind of pleaded and just said that if someone has to go please make it be me. I know it's dumb. I am not suicidal...but I'm just saying. Ahhh....I take one step forward and then take 50 back. I was not going to cry anymore. I wasn't. Facebook is gone too? I needed the last little thread to hold on to. Everything is gone now. Everything. I am trying to be strong. Trying, but failing. I want to curl up in a ball and go away. I need someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be ok. I need my grandma. I need my best friend.
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1 comment:
Oh that is so sweet of you to say! Of course I remember you! How are you doing right now? Looks like you've had some rough times recently :-( I wish you all the best--I will have to add you to my list of ppl's blogs I check up on, I didn't know you had one. Thanks again for your comment...made my day.
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