Lonely

So I enjoy being by myself; I really do. At the same time though...I crave human interaction. I want someone to talk to. I want someone to love me. I put on a huge front telling everyone that I would be perfectly fine being alone for the rest of my life. Are you kidding me? I want to feel loved just as much as everyone else! The greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return! I was talking to one of my good friends and he told me that I probably won't ever find anyone bacuse most guys want sex. Why?! What happened to all the good mormon boys of the world? I know that it is because I am quiet, but really if you take the time to get to know me...I really can be fun! I have only dated one person in my entire life...how is this so? I have liked several...they just don't like me back...I am a fabulous girl! I deserve so much! I want to be loved! I want someone to actually care about the way I feel! I want someone to open up to me and tell me the most intimate details of their life! I want someone to come to me before they go to anyone else! I want someone to think of me when they are lonely, afraid, sad, happy, excited...I want them to want to talk to me and share wqith me their thoughts! I want to go out and have a good time and not be pressured to drink or to have sex! I'm so angry right now! I feel like I don't have any good friends right now! Of course I have friends some might say...but let me describe them to you:
Friend #1: We are texting friends...I have to literally pull information out of this kid...Friend #1 says that opening up is not for them...How can we talk every single freakin day about nothing! I want to know how you feel! I want you to care how I feel!

Friend #2: We used to be best of friends. Now we make plans, but there always seems to be a reason that we don't follow through. We make plans to hang out so I stick around all day waiting...waiting...waiting...oh...they don't show up. I will understand. I am so nice and caring and happy! Yes...as a matter of fact I am nice....but I want you to be nice back!

Friend #3: We talk. I thought this was possibly the one person that might kind of understand me. But at times this person will go for an entire week without returning my calls. I think that maybe I made them mad, but I don't remember doing anything. Then I think...I must just not be good enough. This person has better friends that they would rather talk to.

These are my best friends. I have a few people that I talk to every once and awhile. Things are great if I contact them first. If I stop calling them though...will they remember that I even exist?

It's better not to care about anyone because I alway end up hurt...always! But, I love everyone! Some people think that it is great! I tend to think that it is a character flaw!

I just want someone to truly care about me and love me and want to be around me...no strings attached!