ER

So...today I was watching last weeks episode of ER. It's a good show. However, it just made me start to cry. This woman remembers the death of her son and it was a very touching story. It made me cry because I relived the day my grandma died. I miss her so much. I want her here. I want to be able to tell her about this amazing boy that I am dating. I want to show her my new outfit. I want to tell her about my job since I have graduated. I miss her sooo much. It has been 7 months. It seems like an eternity. I keep telling myself that our time here on earth is but a small moment...but sometimes t just feels really really long! I know that I will see her again and I know that she is watching down on me now. It's still just not the same. I can't talk about her to my friends because they didn't know her. I can't talk about her with my family because that just makes everyone sad. I just really miss her though. Gosh...I have tears streaming down my face just thinking about her. I have her picture on my wall. I love it. I miss her so much. She had such faith in Christ and such a sweet spirit. Her smile was perfect. She really truly had the pure love of Christ. She is the most amazing person that I have ever known. I want to talk about her. I want to remeber her. Christmas will be hard. I remember last year she made us put up the big tree because she said that that was going to be her hast Christmas. I just kinda laughed. My grandma was only 63. Healthcare has improved. She wasn't gonna die. She did die. I should have spent more time with her. I should have called her more. I just miss her so much. I held her hand as she died. I remember the only thing I could think to do as she died was to pull the bandaids off her arms. I needed to be helpful. I pulled bandaids off! Seriously! Thats so dumb! It's dumb but I will always remember it. Now when I think of bandaids I think of that day. I loved my grandma so very much. She will always live in my heart.