Dumb

So I feel dumb. I am going against everything I ever taught myself. I like him. I think about him. I hate doing that. When you let someone else into your life you are just giving them an invitation to break you into a million little pieces later. Sigh...I tell myself that this is a good thing. This is what I have always wanted...right? I like him and he likes me. That is amazing all in itself. This is a good thing. Enjoy the journey. Don't be bitter. I find myself being a girl though. I want to be with him. That's not me! I am ok being alone! I am not supposed to be sad when I am not with someone else! But this time I am! He is so close; yet so very far away! I hardly get to see him. One, maybe two times a week, that's it. I want to get to know him better. I want to know everything about him. I like him. It's weird that a girl that is so in love with love would have such reservations with letting someone in. It is like I am afraid of letting someone too close. I am trying though. I am letting myself start to like him. I enjoy being with him. This is a good thing.