Learning

Ok...so I really do try to learn everything I can and take something positive out of every day. BUT...I just don't feel positive today. It was a bad day. I make fun of people for getting so stressed out...because at work these nurses are insane...they need a little reality shock...so i take it upon myself to mock them until they snap out of it! :) Today though...it was just not good. For a brief synopsis every day that I have worked this week I have been on a different hall with different patients or floated to another unti where I know nothing. I don't know anyone or anything. I start fresh everyday. Today I had 7 patients! 7!!! Have people lost their mind? To just keep things in perspective; on a good day you have 4. On a normal day you have 5. On a busy day you have 6. On a...my managers are retarded day you have 7. Ok...so 7 patients. Everyone needs something all at the same time and I have pills to pass and I have a mess to clean up from night shift. Whatever. I made it through the first 8 hours. Now...onto evening shift (also known as my last 4 hours). One of my fellow nurses comes in and says that I am going to have to take another hall. You know...maybe if we really needed to I would...but was it necessary? I have had 7 patients for the past 8 hours...why should I switch? The reasoning was that an LPN would get stuck with the brain injury hall which we typically don't do...but I didn't really want to switch assignments so we just put the LPN down there. The only issues with LPN's are that the RN's have to do all the assessments and essentially be in charge in case anything goes wrong. I got assigned to cover 10 patients for my last four hours! 10!! I have my 7 patients plus I am covering 10!! Have I mentioned that I am a new nurse!! People are retarded...but anyway...to continue with the story. One of my LPN's patients had an oxygen saturation of 11%. Um...not a good thing. Unresponsive patient. Not enough oxygen. So we ended up calling a code on my floor. Rehab does not do codes. We live in a happy healthy world where people get better and go home. It was bad. It makes me second guess everything. First off, I probably should have had that assignment anyway. We don't normally put LPN's down that hall. Secondly, what if I had realized yesterday that something was wrong. I knew that the person wasn't normal, but I couldn't put a finger on it. ah!!!!! I feel like an idiot!! This person could have died!!! I need to always pay attention to everything!! It's just so hard to take care of 7 people and do it well. I need to learn how to do it...I have to. I feel inadequate. I don't know if I am a good nurse. I wanted to go to medical school, but now I am worried that I will miss something with that too. I know that I can make it through school, but what I don't know is if I am good enough.