Sickness

So I pretty much had a breakdown on Tuesday. I cried and cried and cried some more. No one ever told me that this would be the worst nine months of my life. Then I feel bad for saying that because it shouldn't be that bad. It is that bad. Tuesday was my only day off this week. I woke up at 9am and immediately went to the bathroom to throw up. I stayed there until 10 when the look of the inside of the toilet bowl was making me more sick. It was dirty! Gross! So then I graduated to the bathroom trashcan. I went back to bed until 2 o'clock. I woke up to tell Chrys goodbye and then I went back to sleep until 6. This time I managed to stay awake until 8 and got a little bit of food down. At 8 I went back to bed until I had to get up the next morning for work. I am miserable 24 hours a day. I am a very bad sick person. I hate being sick more than anything in the world. I can normally bear it because I know that I will only be sick for a few days. There is no end in sight for this. I have been sick everyday for 2 months! I take phenergan which is supposed to help. It doesn't. I take zofran which is the only thing that seems to help. Only one problem with that...insurance only pays for 17 pills a month! What?! The pill only stays in your system for 6 hours. I am the lucky girl that gets to pick and choose what days to be only half sick instead of all the way sick. So of course I have to take the medicine before I go to work or else I really might die! It doesn't always work though. I threw up today in a patients bathroom after emptying a urinal. Seriously...and it was pretty yellow pee. Not too dark...no real smell. Still resulted in throw up! I don't know how people do this for nine months. Poor Chrys...he had no idea...I don't really get sick that much. He did not know what I was like when I was sick! Luckily he takes care of everything right now. He fixes all of our food. Oh and did I mention that we work different shifts. So he fixes my dinner before he goes to work. He packs my lunch for me. He gets up with me before I leave for work in the mornings. He does all the dishes. He does all of the laundry. He does all of the yard work. He takes care of the dogs AND he still works full time. I have pretty much just been a permanent attachment to the toilet bowl. I feel like I can't do anything at all...its terrible! Everyday I cry and ask myself what I have gotten into. Chrys just tells me that if he could carry the baby that he would but for now I just need to focus on the final product. The only thing that makes the sickness better is sleep...and even then I wake up in the middle of the night sick. Here I am thinking that pregant women just complaine a lot. Nope...I can vouch...al the complaining is very very valid! They earned it!